Master class for parents: how tospoil the child

Wed, Jun 24, 2015

Remember what the chieftain said in the “Snow Queen”? If children
indulge – they will turn out to be real robbers!

But we do not want to raise a robber – we dream to grow
good person, smart, strong, talented.

And at the beginning of the way we are afraid to make a mistake, because in childhood it is laid
the most important foundation of the future fate.

Starting from birth

The baby in the womb feels protected, it surrounds
comfortable warmth of a living body. The child is associated with the mother not only
physically, but also emotionally, he feels her, empathizes with her.

After the birth of a baby, a woman is not always ready for the fact that
a helpless creature that has recently been one with it has its own
character, may require something and express displeasure.

Some moms think that a child wants too much
unnecessarily capricious, takes away too much time. Therefore they
consider it possible not to pay attention to his tears, not to run on
to each baby’s call – let him get used to independence, otherwise
will endlessly sit on your hands.

Of course, only you decide how to behave with your own
a child, but note that such “education” will negatively affect
on its development and can lead to nervous diseases and mental
deviations. In the first year of life a little man needs
physical contact with the mother and other close people.

He may cry because he is hungry, scared, excited,
he has a stomach ache or he misses your warmth. It is not at all
pampering. A touch of good family hands and mother’s chest are
better than any medicine.

Рекомендация №1: если хотите сделать всё, от
your best to keep your child calm and self-sufficient, not
ignore his needs for your hug, attention and love.
Learn to treat him with an open mind, to see his pain and to hear
his opinion. Start from the first days and months.

Be sensitive, help your child understand himself and the world around him.
Maybe it will seem to you that baby talk does not carry any
information, or, from the height of your adulthood, stupid problems
preschoolers do not deserve attention?

Postpone your important business, because next to you grow a man
needing your sympathy and understanding. Be patient – and
become the best friend for your child, dedicated to the grand
secrets and admitted to making important decisions.

It is impossible – it means it is impossible! Or we look for a cure for whims.

Let’s go back to the moment of birth, when the child from
limited but quite cozy and comfortable microcosm falls
into an almost limitless unfamiliar and possibly hostile world.
Imagine that you were thrown from the ship into the ocean. No matter how
pleasant warm water – you will look for solid ground, shore.
The child also instinctively searches for boundaries.

Is it because he is comfortable to be under the side of my mother, and
Better – between parents, isn’t it because in the first month of life baby
rather fall asleep if you swaddle him? And he needs borders not only
physically tangible, but also psychological. That is, permissiveness
for a child absolutely uncomfortable. She’s disorienting the little one.
man in the comprehension of the laws of life.

Imagine the situation: the child is actively exploring the world and at the same time
observes the reaction of adults he loves,
whom he trusts and imitates, and parents admire their child,
like exotic animals, they are surprised and rejoice at every antics.
Dumped the vase – fine, spat on the plate – funny, tore the book –
funny. Although, it would be wiser to promptly prompt the baby that
to do well what is not very what is right and what is simple
ugly. This attitude of parents, at least
irresponsible: today they allow what tomorrow will be
punish. So you should not pamper children.

As for the whims, tantrums, whining, other illustrative
public appearances – parents themselves provoke a disgusting
child’s behavior. These ugly antics are deserved reckoning for
your connivance. One day, the child realized that it was these methods
impacts bring him the desired result. Now groping your
a weak point, a little tyrant can manipulate you. therefore
Take bans very seriously. And still – try
teach a child to build a dialogue and respect his companion.

Рекомендация №2: своевременно расставляйте
border posts. A child is not a toy. Help him identify
main reference points. Don’t be overly aggressive, just and
available, in order to avoid future conflicts, explain to your
offspring: what not to do and why not to.

Then he will understand that there is a good reason for observing the ban:
it is dangerous, embarrassing, ugly, unhealthy, etc.
Describe the possible consequences of violating the boundaries you set.
And most importantly: keep yourself within the limits, do not show a bad example, do not
ignore your own bans – in the eyes of a child it looks more
than ridiculous.

Is your goal unconditional obedience? Remember the Third Law
Newton.

Some parents fall into the opposite extreme:
total bans. Each in his own way expresses love, takes care,
protects children. But in caring for a child, you must remember that
a lot of unreasonable restrictions hinders the development of a young person,
It suppresses the psyche and adversely affects your relationship.
It may be convenient and pleasant for you if your son is definitely for you.
obeys, just think: who do you want to grow in
the result?

Do you dream of a neurotic, silent, downtrodden creature?
Infinitely controlling your child, you, by default, shift
on his shoulders responsibility for his actions. This is natural:
who makes decisions is the one who answers. Therefore, secretly slipping out of
your smacks, your offspring is not inclined to control yourself and
capable of very frivolous and thoughtless actions.

Did you like physics at school? I admit, I – not very. But the third
Newton’s law somehow remember. He narrates that power
counteraction is equivalent to force of action. This law is relevant and in
interpersonal relations. Remember: the more you infringe
freedom of his child, the more active in his heart is growing wave
protest. One day this stream will sweep away all obstacles, but it is unlikely
one of you will make you happy. Your child is most certainly not
will be ready to apply the acquired freedom with benefit – in
A new role, he may be pathetic and helpless.

Рекомендация №3: не переусердствуйте с
bans. As the child grows up, the area allowed for him
should steadily expand. You can miss that moment
when your child grows into your inhibitions. It threatens to lose
mutual understanding.

A child is a great gift from heaven. Love him, pamper and please,
Enjoy his presence in your life. Only always
remember that every minute every act, word and gesture
you build his future. Happy future.

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