How to find out the relationship with the child? What shouldbe competent behavior of parents in a conflict situationchild?

Пт, 05 янв 2018 Автор: Алёна Рассабина

People in marriage often disagree and
interests, expressing their disagreement in a violent quarrel or even
fight, witnessing which, sometimes, become

How to solve disagreements with a child without making a source out of it
child psychological trauma?

Why is it necessary to control the conflict situation when

Scandals in the family – the event is almost inevitable. Disagreement
between two partners are the norm and, more often, are solved
peacefully. But what if the spouses, in a moment of conflict, go on about
emotions in front of children?

Many parents absolutely do not think about their behavior in
conflict situations. Often enough cause emotional and
regular disagreements in the family becomes the selfishness of the partners and their
inability to constructively resolve conflicts.

So that the child’s family relationship model is prosperous,
need to approach clarifying relationships with a partner
rational point of view. The fact is that cursing at children
parents form the norm of behavior in a particular situation, that is, in
the quarrel This rule applies not only to conflicts, but to everything
as for behavior in general: attitude towards life, towards work,
family behavior and so on. To your future
the child had no difficulty in resolving disagreements with his
partner, you should show him a sample by your own example
normal and healthy dialogue with differences of opinion with

Another reason to start taking control of the conflict,
It is possible to single out the formation of a child’s distrust of the world as a whole.
Children who are regularly unwitting witnesses of bright nor to
why not leading and baseless scandals, sooner or later
stop believing in friendship, love, loyalty. Such a child
gets used to the constant clarification of relationships and in the future considers
norm to fill free time with a partner not sincere
talk and scandal. These children, in the future, rarely trust people,
and especially its second half, which leads to a reduction to a minimum
the possibility of a happy and long marriage.

Why you should not swear at children?

Uncontrolled, regular and emotional scandals in
the presence of children can be fraught with not only the distrust of the child
to the world and disturbed behaviors, but also bring a mass
unpleasant psychological trauma and consequences. In children who
became unwitting witnesses of conflicts and assault on the family,
The following effects are observed:

• Psychological trauma

The human psyche is unstable until adulthood.
Scandals, swearing, fights and other bright negative pictures, can
lead to a violation of the psyche of the child. Children’s psychological
injury is fraught with a lifelong sense of negative emotions: anxiety,
fear, feelings of guilt and insecurity, as well as people with
deformation of the psyche in childhood prone to harmful habits:
drug and alcohol addiction, smoking. Moreover, on
against the background of mental disorders of the child develop neurosis and
inability to endure stress.

• Emotional disruption

Having witnessed a parental quarrel or fight, the child is experiencing
a lot of negative emotions, such as fear, helplessness, feeling
guilt, anxiety, anger. Finding a child, day after day, in such
emotional state, often leads to the fact that growing up,
the child does not acquire the ability to see the beauty of the world and experience joy
from every living day. Such people for all events in life
pessimistic, and a constant feeling of negative emotions
Consider the norm.

• Deviant behavior

Copying forever swearing parents or vice versa, protesting
family differences, a child may exhibit behavior,
which is not approved by society. The so-called “difficult” children in
the germ of their actions are exactly imitation or rejection
family trouble.

• Development Lag

Parents who are regularly in the showdown
often simply not engaged in the development of the child. But the main reason
mental retardation of a child who witnessed
repeated quarrels, lies in the fact that when you feel anxiety and
fear, the child’s mind is incapable of analyzing new information and
further development.

Постоянное чувство вины

In parents’ conflicts, children unwittingly blame themselves. Formed
guilt is fraught in the future to grow into dislike for yourself and
prolonged depression.

• Hate parenting

A feeling of hate arises more often towards the father. Even if the father of the child
didn’t start a scandal and was innocent of anything;
it will be equally aggressive and meaner than the mother, who often
It seems the baby is defenseless and fragile.

• Discrimination based on gender

The consequence is rare, but serious. Children with hidden and, at times,
unconscious hatred of one of the parents, growing up, experiencing
difficulties in communicating with the sex of an unloved parent. They are in every way
suspended, afraid, experiencing dislike

To avoid such consequences should eliminate mistakes in
own behavior and learn how to competently get out of the situation

How to correctly get out of the conflict without harm to the child?

Так как же правильно вести себя в conflictе при child? Following
The following recommendations can be avoided.

• Refuse to raise or lower the tone

A cry during an argument does not contribute to a better reporting
to a partner, but the attention of the child attracts. Moreover, screams
provoke a child’s sense of fear and anxiety. Whisper behind the door
also not the best idea. How sometimes adults would not like to hide
conflicts, children will still hear excerpts, suspect something amiss,
react to emotional state. Whispering parents
give the child a sense of guilt and destroy the feeling

• Keep calm

Often conflicts are accompanied by a vivid demonstration of emotions:
smashing dishes, fighting, threats to household items and others. But
an adult is quite able to pull himself together and some
time at least to create an illusion of calm, that is
to demonstrate to the child: “This is just a regular disagreement,
which we will calmly discuss and make a decision together. ”

• Abandon obscene language

The abuse does not carry meaning, but the children learn new
words, so you should abandon obscene language.

• Avoid prolonged conflict

No need to demonstrate your ability to endure anger and
insults. The task of parents: to teach the child as soon as possible
отказаться от негативных эмоций и быстро выходить из conflict.

• Refuse to attract a child to

You do not need to involve the child in a quarrel, asking his opinion on that
or any other matter, forcing him to side with the mother or father.
The child must be in a neutral position. Need to explain
that mom and dad love him the same way, and the differences between them are
no reason to choose someone’s side.

• Hiding quarrels

Build an ideal family, go out to quarrel in a cafe – not
option. The child should be aware that differences in the family are the norm.
and you need to be able to competently solve them. Hiding disagreements, parents don’t
protect the child from unpleasant situations in his life, of which
he will need to be able to find a way out.

• Reconciliation

Every quarrel should end with a mutual apology.

В заключение нужно отметить, что conflictы в семье необходимо
decide correctly so as not to harm your child.

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