WITHр, 13 июн 2018 BUTвтор: Юлия BUTстафьева
Wedding is one of the happiest and happiest
events in the life of loving each other people. That’s just preparation
sometimes it does not always go well, or does not start at all. One of
main problems – parental disagreement. Judging by the poll in social
the Vkontakte network, it is the mother-in-law who becomes the object of a ban on
official marriage. And how to be in it
case?
Psychologists say that the problem of banning parents from
marriage is common. Treat this
need easier, but also with caution.
Contents
What phrases can be heard?
«Она тебе не пара!», – один из самых
common mother-in-law arguments that are sure
daughter-in-law does not suit her son by social status or some
another criterion in her opinion. For example, a girl from a poor family,
no higher education, came from the village, has a child already, no
works etc. The reasons for not giving a blessing maybe
lots of. After all, the mother-in-law evaluates all the advantages and disadvantages
future daughter in law.
But, as a rule, to achieve a certain social status
it is possible, though it will take a lot of time.
And it is better to answer provocative questions calmly and not
snap. Allowed even a small lie. For example, if not
work, then say that the interview is tomorrow or has already been found
vacancy.
�“She is 10 years older than you! This is not love, but marriage
calculation. “ Often, such an argument is also given. After all
very few people want a significant age difference. But
love obscures reason, and say something against the second
halves is useless. Love for all ages. However mother in law
It will be difficult to convince.
There are several examples in show business where married people are
someone older by a few years. For example, Maxim and Alla Pugacheva
Galkin, Bruce Willis and Emma Hemin, Evgeni Plushenko and Yana
Rudkovskaya, Anton Komarov and Anna Sedokova, Dmitry Peskov and Lolita
Милявская, BUTлександр Нестеров и Butна Гришаева, ANDгорь Макаров и Лера
Kudryavtsev. In fact, a list of star couples where significant
age difference, big. What can we say about ordinary people?
Of course, this is also not an argument for a future mother-in-law. But попробовать
You can explain.
�”You have not built a career, you are not ready for a family
of life. “ Perhaps for the mother-in-law is important algorithm, which she
built itself: first a school, then an institute, after which work and
climb the career ladder. And when the son is just a student or
only got a well-paid job, mothers are not particularly
I want him to plunge into family life. But любовь не терпит
plans and algorithms. Either feelings are, or they are not.
Career can be built in the family, especially if the spouse is wise
and an understanding woman. After all не случайно английская пословица гласит:
�”There is a great woman behind every great man.” So, and in
family can succeed in all affairs and undertakings. The main thing –
support, mutual understanding and love. Then all the difficulties will be
overcome, and the goals are achieved. Do not forget that
it is women who contribute to the success of men.
�“As long as you are not able to provide for yourself, what kind of family
you say?”. Phrase degrading honor and dignity
men Such words cannot be spoken. Thus, the mother shows
that her son is not capable of anything. First of all, she humiliates not
only son, but myself. After all свекровь его таким воспитала, по её
According to incapacitated! Moreover, such phrases are negative.
affect the psyche of men, which contributes to
depression, breakdowns and aggression. So, psychologically push on
son is not recommended.
And the future family, in order to prove the seriousness of intentions, is necessary
show visually the work, and start making so much money
so that the mother-in-law has no financial side.
�”We will not pay for the wedding.” Many
loving couples end a relationship at this very moment when
parents refuse to financially assist in organizing the wedding. WITH
one side of the parents can understand. After all не все имеют хорошие
saving. WITH другой стороны, не хотят помогать, потому что не
arranges daughter in law.
Here the way out is simple: either a simple unrecorded registration,
either save or take a loan.
�“Her character is not sugar, you are tormented.”
The nature of each person is individual. And stupid to blame a man
for that. Someone likes it, but some don’t. WITHобственно, не свекрови
live with the choice of her son.
It is difficult to give practical advice. In any case, the bride is worth
to be a little more modest, but not to be offended. Yes and
future husband is obliged to protect his beloved.
�”She cheats on you.” Popular phrase of many
mothers-in-law, who no longer have arguments against the daughter-in-law.
And sometimes there really is evidence: photos,
videos or correspondence. In most cases, the mother-in-law herself
прикладывает все усилия, чтобы опорочить честь future daughter in law. AND
sometimes it works!
In this case, not It is necessary to arrange disassembly with the mother in law. If a
есть малейшие подозрения на то, что она так может сdo, лучше
limit communication But наиболее оптимальный вариант — постараться
do not cross or go away.
In fact, these are not all popular mother-in-law phrases, the goal
which, interfere with the wedding in any way. It is important not to answer here.
evil to all the negative remarks in his address. Of course have
such mothers-in-law, who, when they meet, smile sweetly, but behind their backs
impartially expressed. But их мало. Still, women
to express emotionally. So, there is a possibility
track her attitude to the upcoming wedding.
What if my husband’s parents do not want to go to the wedding?
As a rule, if such parents who are conservative in their
solutions. AND если с их мнением не считаются, то они отказываться
going to meeting. The reasons why parents refuse to go on
wedding, a lot. In various forums, you can see the real
stories and tales. Here are just unlikely to solve
problem, re-reading a bunch of stories. We must act!
Consider a few tips that may help change
opinion of husband’s parents!
1. «Переложить ответственность на будущего
spouse”. In many films we see as a loving friend.
a friend’s couple tells parents about the decision to legalize relationships for
table and a cup of tea. Then we see a picture where mom and dad
shocked, they look at each other and do not know what to say. In life
a little bit different. WITHын говорит заранее о том, что хочет жениться.
If a родители против свадьбы, то они аккуратно начинают намекать,
that this is not the best solution, and you need to wait. At worst
the scandal begins. In this situation, future brides should not climb
in the relationship of mom and son. They have to figure it out for themselves. But любимому
a person needs to be reminded that he is a man, his decision should
respect, regardless of whether you like it or not. Simply put,
a real man confronts a fact. But это только в том случае,
if a man is financially independent. The future husband must take all
responsibility for themselves and in no case do not shift to
beloved woman or parents.
2. «Привести аргументы в свою пользу».
For example, talk about a healthy lifestyle, good skills
cooking or raising in falsity at work. Can praise and
loved one. Namely: to say that he has golden hands, to
children are drawn to him, his neighbors love him. Цель — постараться сdo
so that the mother-in-law sees sincerity of feelings, love, understanding.
It is important for moms that their children be happy. So, it is worth
try! She must understand that she is better than this wife, her son is not
will find
3. «Подарки и хвала — всему голова». Neither for
it’s no secret that women enjoy accepting compliments. And still
more pleasant when praised or give gifts for no reason. But это нужно
do не за неделю до свадьбы, а с момента знакомства. If a
mother in law bought a dress or blouse, you definitely need
say that the thing is perfect to emphasize the figure. ANDспекла пирог или
cake, then you need to say that such yummy is nowhere
have tried. With regards to gifts, too, everything is simple. Flowers, candy,
gift certificates or just a dish made by your own
hands, pleasantly please mom. But важно не перестараться и во всём
know the limits.
Of course, if possible, you need to please the parents of her husband. but
if from the first minutes you feel humiliation and suppression in words
personal qualities, it is worth to stop communication. Then
talk to your loved one and try to solve the problem. But
again in no way on your own do not arrange disassembly with
his mom
Родители всё равно против свадьбы: подавать заявление в ЗBUTГWITH
or leave this family alone?
Probably all, some girls have had occasions when
ceased to fight for love and threw his life partner.
After all родители против брака, а значит, о дальнейшем и думать не
worth it. This is a big misconception. In the end, the 21st century is in the courtyard and
everyone chooses his beloved himself, not by
parents. WITHобственно поэтому расстраиваться и отменять торжество
just by the fact that the mother of the future husband does not like this decision,
cancel holiday is stupid. WITHупруги будут жить не с мамой, а друг с
a friend. AND создают семью для себя, но никак не для parents.
Therefore, all the cries that someone against you can skip past
себя и сdo так, как хочется.
No need to force to come to the wedding or blackmail. it
case is voluntary. AND если уж сложилось так, что родители мужа
против свадьбы, а сdo праздник для себя очень хочется, тот тут
один вариант: заключить брак без участия parents. Of course
such a decision must be made consciously and after talking with
future spouse. Of course, a wedding without parents will not
perfect, but it’s better than swearing, living with the opinions of others and
ruin the relationship with your loved one. But при всём этом родители
will remain parents. ANDх тоже можно понять в какой-то степени.
It is important to determine the future family: what is important for them. If a
listen to everyone and don’t have your own opinion then really
maybe it’s worth to postpone the wedding and independent life? BUT
if all the same between a man and a woman love, they ask
no one will.
No matter how scary it sounds, the problem is that parents
against the wedding of his already grown-up child, is gaining popularity.
Almost all forums are written by women who have similar
situations. AND смысл вопроса один и тот же, только формулировки
various. In general, the answer is really simple: listen to your
heart and it will prompt the right way.
