Сб, 31 окт 2015 Автор: Юлия Улиткина
Брак — тонкое искусство компромисса.
At the beginning of a relationship, it seems that one love is enough to
live a wonderful life. A life эта обязательно будет полна счастья,
children’s laughter, romantic evenings, passionate nights, interesting
affairs
Свадьба кажется началом волнующего путешествия
in happiness sailing love.
Проходит время, появляются дети, заботы
multiply like a snowball, the routine tightens the marsh duckweed
yesterday’s lake of fresh and sharp passion. And one day, looking at
a man who once gave her hand and heart, a recent bride
With horror he thinks: I do not like my husband.
He also looks without previous interest. Sometimes indulges
statements in the style of “not the kind of girl I led to the crown.” it happens
otherwise: the husband still shows tenderness, tries to captivate with business
or talk, but to reciprocate him there is no strength, no desire.
Listening to herself, a woman hears only the rustle of autumn leaves and,
feeling a bitter guilt, sighs: “I do not love my husband.”
Брак на грани развала: депрессия, слезы в
pillow, the feeling of a life lived in vain, resentment, self-loathing.
The woman – the keeper of the home, this axiom girl
absorbs young nails. And when to be at this hearth there is no
no more moral strength, it remains only to blame yourself.
Someone is trying to solve the case by divorce (but children, children!), Someone
gets a lover, someone just goes out.
In fact, nothing terrible happens. Anyway,
until. You can never blame yourself: with a sick joke of conscience
are bad. Просто нужно остановиться, разобраться в своих feelings. AND
remember that thoughts of lost love sooner or later arise
every woman!
Contents
I do not like my husband: the reasons for the breakup of marriage
Психологи считают, что браки распадаются по трем
main reasons:
• emotional immaturity;
• wrong choice of partner;
• a family crisis that could not be survived.
it happens, что эмоционально незрелые, очень юные
people get married, surrendering to an impulse of feelings or trying to solve their
Problems. Fear of loneliness, an attempt to correct at the expense of a partner
financial situation, the desire to establish their independence –
All this can be a reason for marriage. Once
the problem is solved, there are no reasons for living together.
Young people are not ready for the fact that marriage is a big
a responsibility.
«Не сошлись характерами», говорят в народе про
people who could not or did not want to pick up a key to each
to a friend. Most often they were joined by a blinding passion. When her fog
scattered, in the family boat were two completely
opposing person. Values, life principles, priorities
they are so different that it’s simply impossible to live together.
Constant irritation quickly ends the marriage. If the girl came out
married too young, or did it by the calculation, or did not marry
that man, succumbing to passion, she sooner or later find
that does not love her husband. Maybe the feeling will come with time? how
know.
Наконец, семейные кризисы могут разрушить даже
сильную привязанность друг к to a friend. If there is no understanding,
respect, the desire to agree, the marriage may end in divorce.
Moreover, the husband and wife during the period of marriage experience, as a rule,
several crisis stages:
• the crisis of subsided passion;
• childbearing crisis;
• crisis of seven years: I want diversity;
• midlife crisis: “gray in a beard – a rib in the edge”;
• 25 years crisis: loss of life guidelines.
Once конфеты остаются в прошлом и люди начинают совместный
life, partner idealization is no longer possible. During the first
marriage year, the young are experiencing a first relationship crisis. Birth
child becomes a new test, with the main burden
falls on the shoulders of a woman. Seven years later, a new crisis comes:
both partners are rather tired of the routine, want diversity,
new impressions. Well, if both can find a joint
passion and not yet lost marital ardor. And if not?
Кризис средних лет связывают, в основном, с
sexual rebellion men. It affects the marriage the most pernicious
in a way. After a quarter of a century, lived together, comes again
a crisis. Realizing themselves at sunset, people lose their lives
landmarks can sink into depression.
The woman who discovered that she no longer loves her husband, more often
just turns into a whirlpool of crisis. However, realize the change
Your relationship with your spouse does not mean losing his love.
I do not like my husband: how to survive a family crisis
Negative to her husband can accumulate over time. howие-то мелкие
grievances, unspoken claims, constant physical and
psychological fatigue, boring life, serious offense to
spouse, which can not forget – all this affects the
cooling the woman’s feelings. �“I don’t like my husband,” she thinks more and more often.
experiencing constant stress. Sooner or later an explosion will occur.
what нужно сделать? Here are a few required moments that
Do not ignore.
1.•Посмотреть на свои отношения с мужем как будто со
parties. Analyze what and why
feels. Very often it is chronic fatigue – the culprit
seeming dislike.
2. Представить себе, каким станет дом без husband
howие чувства приходят в ответ на эту картину? If this is a relief,
release, ease, euphoria – a woman, alas, is not really
loves her husband If the house without a spouse seems strange and cold, and
emotions will be negative (fear, longing, emptiness), not all
is lost. Kindle the light of love can be.
3.•Попытаться простить то, что лежит камнем на
сердце, не позволяет испытывать к мужу прежние чувства.
The ability to forgive is a great gift given to few. But there is
ways to cultivate this quality. Psychologists, books, work
you need yourself – maybe you should start with this before you put
cross on the family? At stake is no less – Love!
4.•Прекратить сравнивать мужа с другими
мужчинами. Instead of digging in the merits of others you need
evaluate your spouse, find and call herself all his
positive traits. how часто за какими-то мелкими недостатками
lost whole presentation of a man!
5. Обязательно поговорить с мужем, рассказать о своем
condition. It is quite difficult, but necessary. Loving
man is capable of a miracle. Maybe you can deal with
past grievances, to find a compromise in those issues that cause
irritation. In any case, be silent and do nothing.
can not. Marriage is a union of two people, therefore in solving a problem
must participate both.
The main thing is not to break the wood. Maybe “I don’t like my husband” is
too much to say? But the words of dislike can be deep
hurt a loving person and destroy marriage with their own hands. Will it succeed
glue a broken cup?
I do not like my husband, and for good reason
It is sad when a woman can no longer be trusted and
respect for the spouse for objective reasons.
�“I don’t like a husband” are most often said by wives.
мужей-алкоголиков, наркоманов, зависимых от азартных
games. These are serious reasons for breaking a marriage, especially if
have kids. The antisocial needs of such men make joint
life is impossible. Trust is undermined by constant deception, and love
destroyed by humiliation, insults, fear, hatred.
Very quickly forget about the past affection of his wife
дебоширов и драчунов. If a man raises his hand
on his woman, about any love for him there can be no question.
Of course, there are stories of insane love, which beatings is not
scary. There is an expression “Beats – means, loves”. But if the beating is not
perceived as a violation of social and legal norms, it is
rather about pathology, perverse psychological dependence, rather than
about true love.
Разлюбить можно мгновенно и навсегда, узнав об измене
husband And the man sincerely does not understand why his
misconduct caused such a sharp reaction. The fact is that in men and
women have a different understanding of treason. If a man changes his body, then
a woman is above all a soul. ANDменно поэтому нарушение супружеской
loyalty causes her complete upheaval in relation to her husband.
Feelings for another person can also ruin a marriage. it
The most common cause of divorce. Logic works: love another –
значит, не люблю husband
I do not like my husband and decided to divorce
howими бы ни были причины, женщины, решившиеся на развод,
experiencing severe stress. Together with the marriage ends the best
part of life, usually associated with youth, purity, trust.
Allowing yourself to abandon these memories can only be very
Strong woman.
Go through the procedure of divorce is very difficult. Nerves fear
tension, painful thoughts on the topic: am I right? Maybe
be not worth a relationship break? Deciding on a divorce, you need
prepare for the fact that it will be very painful and bitter. To ask
moral assistance from loved ones, take leave after the trial and go to
the journey is alone or the company of a friend.
Принять решение о разводе — очень ответственный
step. But it must be done if living together is impossible.
To suffer humiliation, negative emotions, fear, if love is long gone,
not worth it. Very often this happens “for the sake of children.” But need
understand that children are just an excuse. Actually a woman is afraid
responsibility, female loneliness, the fact that not cope with
a situation, that is, it follows the path of least resistance. AT
the result is a spoiled life, constant depression, discontent
myself, guilt. ATсе это обязательно отразится на детях.
Развод — очень сложное решение. Take it
need only a cold head. Woman takes responsibility not
only for myself, but also for my children. ANDменно ей предстоит объяснять
kids, why dad doesn’t live with them anymore. But children are the same
strongly love both mom and dad, it will be difficult for them to understand the vicissitudes
adulthood.
I do not like my husband, but I can not leave
Even having lost love, a woman can save a family.
The reasons may be different:
• unwillingness to change the adjusted life, to lose property;
• financial dependence on the husband;
• fear of “not pulling” children;
• pity for the spouse;
• fear of loneliness.
ATсе это негативные моменты, которые делают женщину несчастной и
weak. Well, if she manages to hold back, avoid scandals,
if she learns to hide her depressed from the child
state.
But there is и другой, позитивный момент. ANDногда осознание того, что
love is no more, does not affect the relationship of the spouses. ATсе
it’s about understanding the word “love.” If the young talk more about
passion, which, alas, passes very quickly, then middle-aged people
differently perceive love relationships. Even if not strong
physical cravings for each other, love is filled with new meaning:
respect, acceptance, acceptance.
I really do not like my husband or just tired?
Dreams of complete freedom or fantasy about another man – not always
признак того, что женщина больше не loves her husband Not necessary
officially divorce. It’s enough just to leave for a while
take a break from each other, children, routine to look at a spouse
former loving eyes. Give yourself time to think, cool,
reflect on alternatives.
whatбы проверить свое истинное отношение к мужу, можно спокойно,
without hysterics and emotions, evaluate your marriage and answer several
questions.
• Если бы я и мой муж могли оказаться в иной
обстановке, полностью отличной от сегодняшней и вызывающей
feeling of joy, satisfaction, would we still be together?
• Если муж уйдет к другой женщине и тем самым
will free me, will i be happy
• Если он проявит инициативу в интимном
отношении, попросив меня о том, чего я всегда втайне
Would I agree or refuse? Will joy give me closeness
with husband?
• Почему я до сих пор не изменила в себе то, что не
нравится мужу (и я об этом точно знаю)?
• Буду ли я рада, если муж изменит в себе то, что
раздражает меня (привычки, внешность, манеру поведения и
speech)?
Often reservations, fatigue, usual stubbornness
cause the cooling of the relationship. Just honest
admit it to myself, and the phrase “I no longer love my husband” will seem
far-fetched and ridiculous.
The best cure for such a dislike is respect, openness,
willingness to compromise.
