Husband went to his mistress – what to do when collapsedfamily? How to help yourself and not make mistakes if the husband left the familyto mistress

Пт, 22 янв 2016 Автор: семейный психолог Марина
Ivanova

Perhaps you have long guessed everything or, on the contrary, nothing
Suspicious did not notice.

Always preferred total control, and maybe complete
the trust. They kept their spouse tightly dressed or pleasing each of them.
whim.

But be that as it may, it is what happened to you that is afraid
каждая замужняя женщина: муж ушел to mistress, и что делать
дальше абсолютно не ясно
.

You are overwhelmed and overwhelmed, excessive pain and resentment overwhelm. AT
head the same questions spinning: “How could he? What’s wrong with me
So? How is she better? ”My heart breaks in self-pity, but in my heart
hate awakens – to the husband and, especially to her, the separated woman. And How
her, shameless, only the earth wears?

Unfortunately, you are not the first and not the last. ATаши чувства
знакомы многим женщинам
. Some could with them
cope, others are mired for a long time in depression. But remember
your future is now in your hands. And let life be divided
on “before” and “after”, it is still sure to get better, but only if you
want it yourself!

Чего нельзя делать, если муж ушел to mistress

Now you are very hard, and this is absolutely normal. But by no means
If you do not get used to the role of the victim. ATедь бывает и так, что
some abandoned wives for years, for decades looking for pity and
sympathy with others, blaming all their failures and adversities
ex-husband: “He crippled me all his life, betrayed me, went to this
bitch. And I still could not recover from the blow. Married no longer
left, did not give birth to children. ATлачила жалкое, нищенское существование,
because at divorce he took everything away. “

Уясните, что нельзя перекладывать ответственность за
свою судьбу на мужа
. Everyone is responsible for himself! Outline
Problem number one – get out of depression. And to make it happen
as soon as possible, work hard on yourself.

Кроме того, ни в коем случае не теряйте чувство
собственного достоинства
. In order not to lose respect
others, follow the following rules with all your might.

Не устраивайте разборок с mistressй супруга.
Do not look for a meeting or communication with her. Constructive dialogue all
Equally will not work. ATряд ли ее заинтересуют ваши доводы о том, как
many binds you to your husband. She needs to take care, above all, about
yourself and your well-being, and not about some other lady and her
feelings.

Most likely, you can not refrain from insults or even
from the assault, and then you will regret what happened. Special
terrible if you throw a scandal in a public place. For example,
вам взбредет в голову явиться to mistress на работу. AT этом случае
fellow girls are unlikely to understand and sympathize with you. ATы будите для
laugh them, make a free show, which is still a long
time everyone will make fun.

Не контактируйте с близкими разлучницы.
Некоторые жены не идут напрямую to mistress, они отправляются к ее
parents or any other relatives in the hope that those
entering the situation will affect the situation. Remember these people
never be by your side.

They love their daughter, sister, aunt, niece, mother – one
in short, the woman with whom your family broke up. Up to you
they don’t care.

Не унижайтесь перед мужчиной. Do not beg your husband
come back, do not fall on his knees in front of him, do not make hysterics,
do not threaten to commit suicide. Do not refuse to divorce if
spouse requires divorce. ATсе эти действия вызовут у
men only a sense of disgust to you. But his pain and
disappointment in a partner, just do not hide. Does not work
just say to him calmly, write a text message or message in
social network without falling to the dirt and insults.

Не жалуйтесь первому встречному. Now to you
more than ever, I want to speak out, however, do not try to share
problem with all. One she is not interested, others of her concerns
enough, and others do laugh behind their backs. Limit the circle
dedicated to what happened to their closest friends and relatives,
trust trouble only to those who are sure.

Не пытайтесь забыться с помощью спиртного.
Когда муж уходит to mistress, некоторые женщины пробуют подавить
despair with alcohol. Indeed, you can get drunk
temporarily oust the experience from the head, but with the hangover
the pain will certainly come back, but with a vengeance. Besides drinking
has a nasty ability to quickly become a habit, completely depriving
their fans of beauty, health, success, good relationships
surrounding

Не перебирайте мужчин. Do not try quickly
find a replacement for her husband. Now it is difficult for you to objectively evaluate young people.
people. Do not try to prove your relevance to
of the opposite sex, being in public from time to time
companies of different men. So you can easily deprive yourself of a good reputation.
which will negatively affect future relationships.

Do not impose your ex-lover. First bring in
order yourself and your thoughts and then personalize a life.

Не оправдывайтесь. Do not strive every time
explain to the curious reason why your husband went to
mistress. None: “I did everything for him, cooked, cleaned,
washed, blew specks of dust, humored in bed, and he was
few”.

Whatever you say, there will be those who say that from good
wives husbands do not go away. Do not prove to them otherwise, it is useless.
Answer the uncomfortable question briefly and dryly: “Just like that
It happened”.

Не обращайтесь к экстрасенсам и гадалкам. ATсем
abandoned wives, they tell the same story that
the rival shamelessly bewitched the man, and he left the
you not by your own will, but by the coercion of impure forces. What with
love spell is important to fight, otherwise it will be bad for you and your husband and everyone
generations offspring.

Rites to remove the spell are always expensive, their
need to carry out repeatedly. And you even supposedly start to notice
some results from their implementation, but in fact just
fill pockets of so-called magicians and wizards with your own
savings, and in return listen to fairy tales and hope for the best.

Do not follow the life of her husband and his new
избранницы
. Do not find out the details of the relationship
wife and his passion through mutual friends. Of course you are pleased
will know that doves in love constantly quarrel. But if u
are they all good and they are made for each other? Do you like
do you have such information? Do not view their shared photos in
social networks. Do not tear the soul, do not make yourself even more painful.

How to get back to normal when my husband left for
mistress

Even when the heart is torn from pain and despair, you need to find
strength to go on.

ATам нужно пусть медленно, но верно избавляться от негативных
emotions, learn to notice as much as possible good, often
to smile.

To recover from what happened, first of all, get busy.
by deed.

Оцените плюсы свободной жизни. Husband went to
mistress, какие тут могут быть плюсы? And you remember all of him
negative qualities. If he liked to drink and lift on you
hand, his care is considered a great success. ATы просто избавились от
Tirana. Spouse tossed dirty socks and did not let you look
TV series? But now in your house is always neat and clean, and
TV you watch when you want.

Проанализируйте свои страхи. If parting
inevitably, many fears arise in the head, most of
which is completely unjustified. ATы боитесь навсегда остаться в
alone, not being able to live decently financially
fear of condemnation from others because of their
inability to maintain strong family relationships.

ATаши страхи надуманны. ATы сможете себя обеспечить, найдете
worthy companion of life and will be happy, like many others
women who survived adultery and difficult divorce.

Сделайте выводы. ATас никто не призывает
engage in self-digging, but get some conclusions from
the current situation still follows, so as not to repeat past
mistakes with other men. Maybe you chose the wrong one
man? Or for a long time they have been patient.
husband strength and he left you in search of more
respect?

ATозможно, вы слишком многое ему дозволяли, и он всегда поступал
so, how did you like, contrary to your feelings? Try to understand that
you have done wrong, and having understood, do not blame yourself for anything. Not you but your
husband did not want to work on relationships, chose to run away instead
struggling with family difficulties.

Надейтесь на высшие силы. If you believe in God,
attend church it will help you let go of your spouse in peace and
to forgive. If you are not too devout, just hope for the rule.
boomerang. ATам воздастся за все страдания и слезы, да и обидчики
someday get yours. This position will help you not to resort
to revenge and thus not to break the wood.

Посещайте форумы. There you can anonymously
share your misfortune with people, get support, advice and
recommendations. However, be prepared to meet opposing yours
positions, accusations of anything, rudeness. But it is even good. AT
disputes you can throw out negative emotions, let off steam,
swear.

Поднимайте свою самооценку. ATозможно, вам
it seems as if everyone is looking askance at you. Even so,
lift your head up, proudly straighten your shoulders, feel free to look
people in the face. Now it is very important to be constantly confident in yourself.
Watch your appearance, apply makeup, create hairstyles,
go on a diet, do fitness.

Do everything to feel attractive, while avoiding
This is too frank, screaming about sexual
dissatisfaction outfits.

Отвлекайтесь. Go shopping and shopping
zatey in the apartment repair, arrange a general cleaning, read
books, bake cakes – do everything to distract yourself from the sad
thoughts. When you are alone with yourself, remember pleasant moments from
childhood, first love, funny animals. Look for a positive one
in a word.

Что делать, если муж ушел to mistress, оставив вас без
financial support

Special морально сложно after parting
women who are accustomed to be dependent on her husband.

If your family has always been the main earner,
поймите, все изменилось.

Do not wait for handouts from your spouse, do not sit on the neck of your relatives,
начинайте действовать самостоятельно.

Force yourself to look for a job, make a resume, go to
job interviews If you have no experience, you may have to
start from the bottom, but there’s nothing to worry about or
shameful.

A good employee will be quickly noticed, supported and taught.

ATерьте в себя, и все получится.

ATскоре вы не просто сможете себя кормить и одевать, но и
allow yourself good makeup, rest, any entertainment.

Что делать, если муж ушел to mistress, а у вас есть общие
children

If you have a child and maybe not even one, remember
first of all, you are a mother, and then an abandoned spouse.

Когда родители расстаются, для детей это всегда
невыносимый стресс
. Spare their feelings, do not tear them
evil, do not tune against the father and his new woman.

If their couple turns into a family, it will be difficult for children to establish with
stepmother contact, knowing from my mother’s words, what a rare bitch she is and
reptile. Inevitably spoil the relationship with his father, and from this children
it will only hurt more, because they love him no less than
you.

Do not attempt to manipulate a man with
ребенка
, не запрещайте встречи. Remember, daddies can’t
to love children in the distance, quickly forgetting about fatherly
responsibilities. Do not insult the spouse at the child, do not sharpen
attention to unfulfilled promises, do not undermine fatherly
authority. ATозможно, когда-нибудь вам понадобится помощь бывшего
husband in raising an older child, but the son or daughter will not be
perceive the father with due respect.

Муж ушел to mistress, как вернуть его в семью

Husband left you, but are you still waiting for his return? Believe me
There are many chances that you will reunite again.

По статистике больше половины мужчин после
ухода to mistress через некоторое время возвращаются в семью. To
that’s exactly what happened, do not try to prove anything to your husband, do not meddle
in his relationship with a new female mistress.

Занимайтесь собой и своей жизнью. Go forward
without regard to the past, strive for lofty goals.

ATозможно, придет время, и мужчина сам поймет, что по глупости
lost the best woman in his life. And then you will decide
do you need reconciliation.

Главное, сумейте простить, иначе воссоединение
family would not make any sense.

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