Пт, 22 июн 2018 Автор: психолог НастасьяMuravyova
William Shakespeare once said, “Expectations are
the root of all suffering. “
Have you ever been disappointed because things went wrong
how did you plan? We all have expectations, and grieve when all
It turns out not as we expected. This can happen to anyone.
Any time.
And when our hopes are not fulfilled, we must understand how
it affects us. Harmful how to install for a partner
unattainable standards, and vice versa – try your best
match them. As a result, both sides will suffer: insult,
anger and frustration will poison a relationship.
Our expectations are fantasies and false hopes that
destroy the very idea of equal partnership.
What unrealistic expectations destroy love?
1. “So I was raised.”
Problematic expectations shape the traditions that each
spouse brings from his parental family to his own marriage.
For example, a husband expects his wife to take care of the house and take
all the household chores, as his mother did.
You should never compare your partners with their parents. This
�Nobody could justify the “gold standard”. is he
unfair and unrealistic.
Your partner may have some traits or qualities.
their parents, no wonder they say that we are “marrying a mother” or
�”Marry a father.” Some are looking for in partners
parents traits because it provides them with a sense of
reliability and security in the relationship. But if you hope that
your partner will be as perfect as your parents, you
form toxic expectation that is detrimental
on your relationship.
2. “Unspecified expectations.”
It is unrealistic to assume that the partner will guess to make those
or other things you have never discussed with him. For example,
waiting for a certain gift for a birthday or anniversary.
But your husband is an ordinary person and cannot read minds. Simply
because you were not given an extravagant gift that you
came up with, hoping for his ingenuity, does not mean that he does not
put his soul into it.
Or the husband, by default, thinks that lunch should be ready for him.
returning from work, and his wife expects that in the evening he will sit with
children.
When you start thinking about things that a partner should
do for you but it remains only dreams you experience
disappointment. Try to pronounce what you would like, and
This will help achieve mutual understanding.
3. “Waiting for change.”
Are you vainly hoping your partner will change? Some
believe it is very innocent – try to change the way
dress up or habitual partner activities, although this may be unnoticed
destroy relationships. People are starting to lose themselves. No less important than
share common interests, preserve and autonomy in marriage.
4. “Everything is formed by itself.”
Both partners must work to save the marriage.
Some пары думают, что от самого факта, что они женаты,
problems will be solved by themselves. This is a dangerous fallacy because
it makes you accept your relationship and partner as
due.
Be mindful of each other’s feelings, needs and
desires.
Too often couples ask for help when it’s too
late, and one of the partners is ready to step over the threshold and break
relations. If you do not want to reach this point, notice in time
problems that need to be addressed.
5. “Trust only for yourself.”
Many men are convinced that they should meet
certain standards, such as being the breadwinner, family
or a jack of all trades.
Women also have expectations of having to lead.
household chores after a long day at work, clean the house and cook
everyday. Many of these expectations are driven by requirements.
of society.
It’s ok to ask for help. The load of duties may
put pressure on you and lead to stress, anxiety and depression.
Housework is teamwork, and it’s important that both
partners shared them equally.
Unrealistic expectations in relationships lead to frustration and
dissatisfaction. No one is perfect and everyone has their own
limitations. It’s great to set goals for development.
relationships, but first make sure they are realistic.
