Tue, 08 Nov 2016
�“All happy families are equally happy. Every miserable
the family is unhappy in its own way. ”
Modern psychologists would gladly argue with that.
approval of Leo Tolstoy. Family institute exists
It has long been understood, has been studied many times by researchers. It turns out
there are only 6 sources for conflicts! All disputes, quarrels
and scandals on the planet only inflame because of these six
sources.
Source number 1. Relatives
The problem is the negative influence of the parents of the newlyweds.
or other relatives. Young and already lived couples can be very
It is difficult to build relationships with relatives of a marriage partner. This
the story is familiar to many …
Each family has its own traditions and family values. AND
“higher” authorities in the person of someone’s mothers are trying to impose
their rules to the young “white-collar” who have just entered on
the military path of a happy life, and at any moment may be undermined
on a mine of misunderstanding. Valuable indications may accompany “young
family for 30.40, 50 years.
To cope with this attitude is incredibly difficult. Everyone everyone
it will still prove its case, the only thing they can
bring all kinds of rebellion – an endless series of scandals and
dissatisfaction with the spouse. It’s still mom
(dad)…
The only way out is to run as far as possible from the influence.
commander and endure the drill only on rare family
holidays. ANDногда молодым сложно выкарабкаться из материального
captivity and rent an apartment to live away from relatives, but if
the situation becomes critical, the only thing that can help
Marriage does not fall apart – rent! Hungry, poorly dressed, but with
own roof over your head and together.
ANDсточник №2. Different interests
A man loves football, beer and politics talks, a woman is a theater,
ballet and talk about cats. ANDнтересы могут настолько отличаться,
that because of this, life is falling apart. He wants to go to
Turkey, lie by the pool with alcohol, she prefers
rest in the country, walking through the forest with a bucket for berries. With
In this, both spouses dream of spending time with their second
by half.
These inconsistencies can lead to quarrels. If you always give in
there will be only one spouse, then the accumulated resentment can pour out
out, and there and to the point in the relationship hand to set.
Family psychologists are good at such problems; their
intervention is necessary if the spouses cannot
reach an agreement. If your couple has room for honesty and you
If you know how to listen and hear each other, then try to talk.
Awareness of the problem is half the solution. Very different people
it is difficult to constantly remember that sometime
united
ANDсточник №3. Who is the head in this house
Especially at the beginning of family life, some people start
fight for leadership. Woman and man are accustomed to their lifestyle.
life, and want to “crush” under a partner. As a result –
numerous scandals.
Husband makes wife clean five times a day and cook 3
times a day different dishes. The wife fights for the husband himself
coped with minor repairs, but did not call the master.
You have to understand: whatever a person does, he does it from
good intentions. Is always. Cinderella’s stepmother worried about her own
daughters. Karabas Barabas wanted material well-being. AND мы не
we can say with confidence that he did not have a lot of hungry
kids that need to be fed.
ANDсточник №4. Sex…
Anyone who says that sex is not so important, maybe just
long time did not get real pleasure. In all ages men
sought to become the first and only one of his wife. Apparently, for
so that she does not know all the joys and there are fewer reasons for
discontent. Let the little fool think that everyone lives like that. Now,
the girls know what an unskillful man can rob them of and swear with
by him.
If a man receives less, then things are very bad.
We all argue that men need only one thing. And if he does
from the wife does not receive, and thinks constantly, and what to do? Same husband
pushing for treason, and if he has moral principles and
spermotoxicosis? What is the balance of scales? How can you not shout
on the wife and not to swear?
There is a third kind of conflict in which
sex. It lies in the fact that a man and a woman just
incompatible with each other. ANDм очень сложно добиться удовольствия
together. Withчин этому может быть миллион, а вариантов решения только
two. Think, guess and try again and again, waiting for
the situation will change or go to a sex therapist and find out what
the reason for this state of affairs. True, the second are solved
few. You do not want to spend money, trust in specialists
not rich and … yes shame somehow. That’s amazing to the gynecologist and
urologist is not ashamed to walk, do not hesitate to treat caries, but tell
about intimate details in the doctor’s office is dumb … uncomfortable
to consult in such matters. And by the way, the solution to this
questions can make you much happier.
ANDсточник №5. Emotional lack
As sex is a priority source of conflict for men, so
emotional lack more inherent in women.
“You don’t love me at all”, “Why do you spend so much time
spending with friends? “,” You watch your football again, nothing more
не делаешь!”, “Мы никуда не ходим”. ANDстинная причина всех этих тем
– emotional lack. One spouse receives less pleasant
emotions.
Men seldom understand this cause, and even when they begin
suspect … refuse to believe! Men and women are very different.
For them: “Why are you watching football?” Means that his wife has periods,
she doesn’t like that he spends a lot of time in front of the TV or
she just washed the sofa and was upset that he was dirtying him
its sebum. He will come up with anything and quickly believe in
the most incredible speculation than in the fact that a woman lacks
attention spouse.
In fact, if you are missing a man’s shoulder, then not
be sure to scream, make trouble and try to knock his fists out
love. You can think of something yourself and not necessarily that from this
you will be less pleased. You only need original ideas.
for a joint holiday, there is a little in the article “How to become an ideal
due to the shortcomings of others. “
In addition, you can go to the zoo or go to
circus. The longer you think and the better prepared, the better.
spend time
Remember the game “Treasure” or “Treasure Hunt”? Can decompose
little notes in places that are dear to you and your husband. One
leave about the registry office, the other at the institute, where we went,
the third “in your place”, the fourth at the house where they once lived. is he
will have to find one note after another, and you just
travel nearby. Let the goal be a search for memories, not
the notes themselves.
As a reward, you can give him a story.
own essay on how you met. Very good,
if you still have photos or memorabilia to book
illustrated. A good gift will be a puzzle from your joint
Photo. And after such a beautiful evening, you can give your husband
free evening without you. Let chat with friends!
ANDсточник №6. Economic problems
“With a lovely paradise and in a hut” – this is no longer about us. Of course,
there were still individuals for whom money is not the main thing, but hunger
способ еще раз доказать свою love. Time dictates and there is nothing
the shameful thing is that a person wants to live comfortably. The epoch is like that.
Everything is sold, everything is bought. When one spouse realizes that
the price of the other was obviously too high, then scandals start and
swearing.
In fact, this source of conflict can be viewed from
different sides. What a treacherous woman who nags her husband looks like
because of his unwillingness to buy her a brand new car! AND какой
the unhappy family, where the wife dreams of the birth of the fifth
child, and the husband is physically unable to earn four
born
Who is right and who is guilty – only the experienced can judge
psychologist. Unfortunately, even very frank conversations between husband and wife are not
what do not lead. To alter a person is almost impossible,
if you are not a professional. One wants more, and for the second one
unreal task, at least for now.
