5-minute conflict neutralizer for familypar. Try to reduce the passions, following the tips.professional

Anyone who has been in a close relationship knows that people
quarreling. No matter how enthusiastic or compatible they are
with each other, partners will still argue and disperse into
opinions.

If a couple is able to successfully resolve these conflicts, trust in
relationship is growing.

When conflicts accumulate and are not resolved, partners
remain with painful scars that threaten their love.

In the early stage of a relationship, in the “candy-bouquet” period,
most couples consciously or unconsciously avoid controversy. They
prefer to come to an agreement on each issue. When their
views do not coincide, they try to resolve the conflict immediately, not
allowing spat.

But the early merger does not withstand the onslaught of life problems.
When partners understand that they must pay attention to others
Things, besides absolute devotion to each other, differences are inevitable
come to the fore.

If partners start to discuss disagreements with mutual
endorsements and support, they are more likely to keep close
relationship and find a way to resolve contradictions.

To prepare to discuss a conflict, use
�”5-minute conflict neutralizer.”

Before moving on to it, each partner performs two
simple exercises:

Exercise first. Past conflicts.

Each of you individually must remember a few
recurring conflicts from past relationships. Write down those that
have arisen constantly, no matter which partner you have
was

Mark those that led to a break with
of time.

Honestly assess your contribution to the breakup. Can you name
as a common cause such as jealousy, frivolity, the feeling that you
use or control, and something more specific,
for example, rare sex.

Exercise the second. Discussion.

Share these memories with a partner. Tell me how you
behaved in past relationships. Discuss whether you act like
way and now.

Now that you have completed the training, you can proceed to the analysis.
your differences.

Step 1.

Choose from frequently repeated conflicts in the past,
which began to appear in current relationships. If something
similar was present in the previous relationship of both partners,
all the better.

Do not despair if you feel a growing tension or
fear of causing or feeling pain. Even when people know that they
just portray the conflict, they can react as if he
is actually happening.

If you feel that some of you are overwhelmed with emotions,
briefly interrupt and help each other to return to the present
moment (use deep breathing technique).

Step 2.

Decide which one of you will start first (better if the partner starts,
experiencing strong anxiety and anxiety).

Express your feelings with the following five statements:

Problem: “What worries me is that …”

Fear: “I am afraid that …”

Query: “What I need from you right now,
this…”

Emotional experience: “I feel that way because
what…”

Hope to answer: “When I share this with you, I hope
on…”

Listening to you, the partner should not deny the importance of your words,
interrupt you, devalue your feelings or try to convince you
that you have to experience something different, and not something that you
feel it.

Then the partner repeats for the next few minutes
what you just said as accurately as possible. He doesn’t have to
see or feel the same thing as you. Partner just
repeats your words, providing emotional support.

Then swap roles. Let the partner express it
feelings and give him the same support.

Step 3.

Without discussion or reaction to what each of you said,
spend the next few minutes in quiet reflection, looking
each other’s eyes.

Do not take a defensive position and do not take what is said close to
heart This is the reality of your partner. Recognize her right to
existence, even if you otherwise assess the situation.

After you both completed this exercise, calmly
Express your thoughts and ideas on how to facilitate
partner experiences.

Listen to each other. Do not look for the guilty. Do not enter into an argument
about who is inferior or demanding more.

If you see that you are stuck or react too painfully,
остановитесь и расскажите партнеру, что вы feel it. Explain
what memories or circumstances cause these feelings. You
additional support and partner involvement is required before
how to proceed.

When you are done, do not proceed to negotiations immediately.
Release the situation for a while. Do something together that
will remind you why you still love each other.

Let intimacy prevail over disagreements. You can
return to the conflict discussion when strengthen the connection with each
a friend.

Intimacy and mutual support make
miracles!

The technique will allow you to better understand nature conflicts up
how they destroy your relationship. You will gain confidence
yourself and partner support.