How to increase a child’s self-esteem?

Today we’ll talk about one of the most frequently asked questions. parents – how to increase the child’s self-esteem.

All people are born with a certain temperament. I do not mean choleric, sanguine or phlegmatic.

I’m talking about the ability to resist the pressure that the world renders on the person. Someone has this ability more, someone less.

But we are constantly being pressured. Therefore self-esteem a person depends on temperament, on ability to respond to the pressure of the world.

Contents

Identify sources of child depression

Parents primarily influence the child. Further followed by friends, teachers or educators. Self-esteem is always formed under pressure from the outside.

Therefore, if you notice that your child is not so: it seems to you that he is shy, afraid, experiencing awkwardness in unfamiliar situations or in front of strangers then start analyzing.

Maybe someone is pushing the child and he has no way answer with the same, or even with greater force.

Try to eliminate this effect.

If this is you, then step back two steps, give the child more of freedom. If these are friends, then you can hardly to influence.

However, at least it’s worth talking about the fact that everyone man is freedom of choice, freedom of opinion and acceptance decisions.

And he must make his decisions, no matter what talking around.

If you really agree with a friend, then it’s worth it right and speak, if you do not agree, have the courage to voice your decision.

You will not be able to influence further actions, but if you convey your thought to the consciousness of the child, then form in it the right to independent, different from others point of view, which more than once useful to your child in communication with friends or peers.

In schools and kindergartens, there are educators or educators who daily contact with your child.

And they believe that they have the right to put too much pressure on him. If you notice this, then ask them to be softer.

If this is not possible, then transfer the child to another kindergarten or school where he will face a normal attitude.

Do not talk about the child in the third person

This is the moment when you say: “Oh, we have such shy kid. “It may not be related to shyness.

This can be manifested in the fact that the child does not want to run to to meet someone when he is hiding behind your skirt or behind your back, or, when he does not want to demonstrate his tests knowledge and is silent as partisans.

Also give your son or daughter a choice, give an opportunity prepare, gather strength, cope with excitement. Let him will indicate the moment when it is ready.

What we take for shyness is often common caution. And this is a very useful quality when dealing with strangers.

And since you are the guarantor of security for him, it is logical that he reaching for you.

You need to give your child time to get comfortable, and then you will see that he will behave in the usual way.

Don’t rush it

Help your child change their minds. It often happens that in school or kindergarten, children begin to bully those who lack forces to resist.

The reasons for this may be a lot. May be just someone submitted an idea, and they supported it. This may not be no secret meaning.

Sometimes even strong guys who are against the majority can feel the weakness in yourself.

You need to completely change your child’s opinion of yourself, of his opportunities. Give him the opportunity to chat with other people and children outside of school or kindergarten.

For example, go to an art studio, vocals and football team, swimming or other hobby group.

He should get several different environments in which they think of him. differently in which he can succeed.

This experience of success, when he can be proud of himself, he will bring with him to a place where people think about him not very well.

In this case, the environment of this school or kindergarten will not provide such a painful effect, and will not play such a huge role.

This experience should not be too “sugar”, it should not hyperopeca appears. Think about where there might be conditions.

I met teenagers who were surprised that adults communicate with him with interest, respect, and they were ready open in response.

It can be peers or older people. it will allow your child to form a more sustainable opinion.

Teach your child to manage emotions

The next way to increase self-esteem is to temper emotions, learn to manage them.

I do not know the environment that does this better than sport.

Dancing or ballet classes, or playing on a musical instrument. Ultimately, the daily systematic training.

These are always moments of overcoming, moments of working on oneself, the formation of self-discipline.

It is a commitment to a specific schedule when a child has a clear time for walking, for training, when he can prioritize.

When you win, you win. When you want cry from the fact that something does not work out for the hundredth time, but pull yourself together, overcome and show the best result.

This is the point in time when the tempering and personal growth. There is nothing cooler to gain confidence.

But this does not mean that you need to kick the child into the musical school. It is important that your child likes it and he sought to work for hours, contrary to sudden laziness.

Give only high-quality toys

Let your child have fewer toys, but they will high quality. It’s better to give one expensive radio-controlled model and teach to value this acquisition, than to fill up a child every day cheap Chinese fast-breaking fakes. Look for example, on these toys: https://mykapitosha.ru/

As a rule, any modern child, almost independently of family income level, toys are much more than he needs and is useful have.

It is still difficult for our post-Soviet person to get used to a huge offer for virtually any product item. And not knowing how to choose, we buy everything. It often seems to us that than the bigger the better. In fact, in matters of upbringing, It turns out differently. And one of the main questions is feeling measures.

Always support your child

Your support also greatly affects the child. Never believe the bad things that your children say.

Often next to them are non-professionals who are not versed in child psychology, do not understand the causes of behavior and do not may help in the future.

Teachers may have their own ideas that normal and what not. As a result, you may receive a complaint about your child.

But who besides you will support your child? Talk to him, discuss the situation, discuss how you can lead yourself in a given situation.

Spend a lot of time with him, talk. Because by virtue Of particular employment, we often dismiss the problems of our children.

But a simple emotional conversation can solve many problems and to qualitatively increase his self-esteem:

“The parent was able to set aside time for dialogue, despite his employment, so I’m important to him, then they love me. ”

And his self-esteem again goes up.

Do not criticize baby choice

We don’t even notice how, passing by, we throw some kind of dismissive phrase: “What are you inaccurately painted here, What, you want to become an actor? Well, you came up with. ”

The way he begins to think about himself, his opinion of himself instantly getting worse. Instead, ask why he decided become an actor.

What qualities will contribute to its formation, maybe need some extra classes. Talk about his favorites actors, share your favorites …

Sometimes children change their mind about the future every week. professions: then he wants to be an astronaut, then an actor, then a blogger. And sometimes they choose a solution once and for all.

Do not criticize the choice of the child. You can tell you like and what not. But emphasize that the final solution is everything equally will remain with him.

Very often, before our desires, we are separated 2 moment:

  1. A bold statement of your wishes;
  2. Bold steps in the direction.

Parents often chop off the child’s desire at the first step, on stage of the statement of their wishes. And keep chopping off on the second stage.

And in the end, people even at 40 continue to search for themselves, even in this ages they understand who they are and sometimes they don’t even allow yourself to do what you love.

Therefore, so that the child is not at a crossroads at the age of 40, support him and never criticize. It will give him confidence.

Try to notice that you tell children how you comment on them actions.

If there will be a lot of criticism, then remove it, or replace it with that which will be neither praise nor criticism for neutral phrases, that will show interest in your interests a child.

This will allow him to feel your involvement in his fate. When we talk about what we love, our self-confidence growing, self-esteem is increasing.

Do not protect the child from the world

Do not create greenhouse conditions for children. After all, in real life everything could be different.

Each of us must have been in a situation where we felt more or less confident. Sometimes we even had to overcome yourself, your doubts.

But that is how we grow. And so does your child.

So let him be himself: doubters, somewhere more assertive.

Overcoming difficulties, the child increases his abilities, expands his thoughts, and enters a new level.

I like this comparison: we play tennis all our lives, each at its own level.

And if your child misses a lot of swords, because the player with that side is stronger, then sooner or later he will still begin beat off.

And gradually becomes at this level player number 1. Next he rises to the next step, where it starts with a pass goals, because the master of sports is already playing with him.

And moving to a new level in the status of a master of sports, he will face the world champion, where in the beginning he will also lose. This is a natural growth pattern.

Give your child the opportunity to grow, and at every new level Meet with stronger rivals.

Then he will have no problems with a sense of confidence, with self-esteem. He will understand what he is worth.

See you soon!

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