At the root of the word “apologize” is the word
�”Wine”. Guilt is a non-constructive feeling, non-constructive
an emotion that does not bring anything good or positive to us,
nor the person to whom we recognize our
the blame.
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Откуда у человека желание извинятся
We are accustomed to apologize since childhood. When we understand what we have done
someone unpleasant, we quickly apologize. But let’s think
what the action really is.
We ourselves have unpleasant feelings, guilt feelings, when
trying to apologize. The man we did unpleasant to,
feels like a victim, even though our apology and raises him to
a step higher than us. If it is a higher level person
mindfulness, he also feels unpleasant, because he understands
that our fault was most likely not in this, and everyone can
make a mistake.
As you can see, no bonus, no plus none
the side does not get thanks to these apologies.
Constructive substitution apologies
What should be done to really situation is fundamental
changed so that each side received positive
moments?
First, come and recognize the other person’s feelings
recognize responsibility for your actions. You should say that
your actions at some point were unconscious or you are not
understood what the consequences would be. But, again, every person
may be mistaken, and it is important to recognize that you understand the feelings of another
man because of your actions.
Скажите ему: «Я понимаю, как тебе больно, понимаю, что мои
actions upset you, I understand that I acted
wrong”.
Дальше спросите: «Что я могу для тебя сделать сейчас?»
It is clear that if there is an opportunity to eliminate the consequences of their
actions, they need to be addressed. Maybe somehow pay or
restore – it all depends on the situation. But if nothing is impossible
correct, ask what you can do for him. It may be
action in some other area that is completely unrelated to it
an event.
And here it is important that you keep the balance. You inflicted
harm to that person, and now you will do him good.
And the action should benefit him. Because we
we often believe that we act for the good of others, not understanding what
is their benefit. So it is very important to ask what you can in
the moment to do for him.
Each of you will remain more satisfied and
more positive than if you were just apologizing. We wish you
avoid such situations. But since everything in life is possible,
We recommend replacing apologies with more productive and effective ones.
action for the benefit of both parties.
