The path from the goddess to the hysterical woman: how I disappointedthe men

Sat, 25 Apr 2015

It so happened in life that in 99% of the initiators of relations in
моей жизни были the menы, а не я. I could never achieve
the person I liked. В то же время, позволяла the menам,
to which she did not have initially deep feelings – to care for
me.

And, as a rule, this ended in the fact that I inevitably
fell in love. And then they threw me, I cried, suffered and was
offended by the whole world. The key word “was”, because to me it has already come
understanding how I was turning from a goddess into a hysterical woman
constantly throwing.

So, everything is in order.

Contents

Stage one: “I am a goddess”

At this stage of the relationship, I look like a snow queen who
takes care. AND в связи с тем, что the menы, которые за мной
cared, I never liked – it was easy for me to stay
indifferent. This period is wonderful, because you need and
claimed. They give you flowers, surprise and constantly remind of
how wonderful you are. Regular phone calls, interest
to where I am and what I do; growing desire to spend with me
as much time as possible.

I even remember how in January I got flowers from snowdrifts. how
ran at night for pills from the throat, when I caught a cold. how мне
doing foot massage at the end of the day. And at such moments you
you understand that this man makes you happy. And what are you to him
need Therefore, why not increase your influence on him and
try to marry yourself. And here begins the second stage – “I –
cat”. That is, in the beginning I behaved like a stray animal:
purred, looked into the eyes with a sense of devotion and admiration. AND
this behavior was waiting for the “potential owner” to take me
home. ANDными словами — все ближе подпустит к себе в жизнь и даст
pass to your territory. AND как только я этого добивалась
purring, increasingly, changed to growling and releasing claws.

It turns out that I understood that the relationship is already serious, therefore
you can show that something does not suit me, and that I have
their desires and claims. And the main complaint, as a rule, was
one is to give me back the state “I am a goddess”. I remembered very well
how they used to take care of me, how they wanted to spend it with me
free time. And now everything has become stable and calm; disappeared
passion and romance.

AND понимание того, что мне не хватает внимания, перерастало в
the third stage – “I am a woman-ivy”. I like an abnormal wanted, and even
требовала, чтобы the menа все свободное время проводил со me.

It was difficult for me even to accept the fact that he needed to leave for
work to earn the money he then spends on
me.

I just silently went crazy when on weekends he traveled with
friends play football. I was all a little and not enough of the time
what we spent together. AND постепенно наступал финальный этап.

Stage Two: “I am a hysteric”

This terrible period was caused by the fact that the desire to conduct as
maybe more time added paranoia. I first think that
He no longer went to football, but to a new girlfriend. That he does not get tired so much
strongly at work, as I was told. What are those feelings about
He spoke at the beginning of a relationship with him. I did not believe one
to his word.

He came to me – we swore, left – I cried and
threw his sms. At first I screamed in hysterics that I no longer want
see him throw away his stuff and cross out of my life.

Then an hour or two later, I asked for forgiveness and with tears
in front of her eyes begged to come back to me promising mend and make amends
his fault.

Roughly speaking, this period can be described by phrases that my
the guy heard almost every day: “What are you with no memory at all,
forgot about me?”; �“Why are you taking me so long?”; �”What do you have
conscience is not so dry to answer my sms? “; �”I can not understand you,
so tired that you don’t want to spend the evening with me? ”; «how это ты
at the weekend I decided to stay at home and not come to me? ”; �”What are you
Will you go to the gym, and not to me? “; �”Fuck you …”

I still clearly remember that this period led to
that my young man said to me the phrase: “You know what
the more I recognize you, the more I get disappointed. ” Surely
After these words, I calmed down a bit. I had enough for a couple of weeks.
Then everything returned to the old pattern of behavior. As a result, we
parted to the sound of heaps of insults and offensive words addressed to a friend
friend So no one has ever insulted me before.

The worst came after the end of the relationship. ANDменно после них я
a year and a half could not meet with anyone. After all, really afraid
build new relationships. I wanted and at the same time was afraid to understand
what did you do wrong

AND со временем осознала, что the menа — тоже человек; he needs
freedom, and we – the lesson for the soul and the ability to independently learn
be happy I clearly realized that I, because I could not
сама себя любить, вижу в the menе единственный источник позитива.
Therefore, I demand more and more evidence from him that
I am so wonderful and the only one in his life.

I realized too late that we can not find a soul mate,
have not yet found the first one. Therefore, the main thing is to start loving and appreciating yourself.
AND без сомнения, одна счастливая душа — притянет другую.

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