Politeness templates: TOP 5 phrases thatannoy people. What words can cause unexpectedly negativethe reaction of the interlocutor?

Ср, 15 ноя 2017 BUTвтор: Инга Гец

These phrases are simple, we use them
everywhere, sometimes without thinking and not giving them additional
values. Such words and phrases can be called “templates of politeness.”
They were taught to us by parents and caring grandparents. But
Today, these words no longer sound relevant and sometimes do not correspond
meaning originally embedded in them.

The negative effect of these words is manifested when a person
overuse of their use. Single and rare
mentioned, they still do not have a similar effect.

Contents

Thank you (“thank you” and so on)

Some people openly abuse this simple word,
which in reality is not bad. Habit of giving thanks
beautiful until she grew into the habit of saying “thank you” to
inappropriate situations.

Пример: на работе начальник проверил работу
employee and found errors in it. Pointing at them, he ordered
redo the report. And, stammering, the employee replies: “Yes, of course, I
I will redo this minute, thank you very much for the comments, I missed
this, sorry, thank you! ”.

Do you feel how this phrase “shows through” self-doubt? BUT
because, in fact, the man did nothing wrong: just
thanked the boss for the adjustment. However, people around you hear
another: “I am not fit for anything, everything falls out of my hands, I
worthless, constantly making mistakes and sorry. “

BUTльтернатива: достаточно было бы лаконично
answer: “I understand you, redo and bring a new version.” TO
such an employee imbued with trust, because he is full of confidence
in itself.

Could you…?

This phrase was originally built incorrectly, because it starts with
dangerous piece of “not.” Russian is great, and therefore, pronouncing
such a phrase, such a meaning is put in it beforehand: “I already
I know that you will refuse me, and I am not worthy of it at all,
to ask, “etc.

Пример: вы сидите в маршрутке, рядом на
a large woman sits down empty, involuntarily pushing you. You,
being afraid, ask: “Could you move over, you know, a bit
uncomfortable. “

TOак думаете, обрадуется ли женщина этому вопросу? And will move
whether? Indeed, in the question there is everything that should be in a bad phrase:
initial denial, hint at inconvenience and bad external
type (excess weight) of the opponent.

BUTльтернатива: удалите частицу «не» из этой
phrases, and from other subjunctive requests too. Now the question
will sound like this: “Could you …?”. Such a simple adjustment to
change the attitude of your opponent to you!

Can…?

BUTссоциация с этим словом — слова-вопрошания, адресованные
parents. �”It is possible” and “it is impossible”, “good” and “bad” and other words
go straight from childhood, smoothly flowing into adult reality.
In fact, in everyday situations you don’t have to find out
can you something or not – who forbid? However we say
so because we consider it a polite treatment. BUT эффект у слова
the opposite – we see insecure people.

Пример: вы сидите в кафе, и вам долго не
carry the menu. A waiter passing by will call out to ask:
�”Excuse me, can I have a menu?”

The waiter will certainly bring it to you immediately. But создаёте ли вы
feeling confident person? Hardly.

BUTльтернатива: Гораздо эффективнее сказать:
�”Young man, bring me a menu.” With special desire you can
add a polite “please”, but as a rule, this is not required
– you have already created the image of a person who knows what he is
wants.

I really liked it…

At its core, this phrase has a positive charge, which means
should like people. However, the overall impression of her is completely
another: “The man said a common phrase, without specifics. Probably him
anyway or not interesting. “

Пример: вы посетили выставку картин
friend-artist, who waited and prepared it for several years. You long
walk around the hall and answer his silent question: “I’m so
liked! Just super! “.

It might have worked with a stranger, but certainly
not with a close friend, relative or partner.

BUTльтернатива: конкретизируйте свои чувства и
sensations. You can successfully comment on any thing, even if you
do not understand anything in art (music, poetry, etc.). For this
just note, to your liking, its positive aspects.
For example, say “I appreciated that picture because in it
the harmonious combination of colors, and from it itself blows pleasant
cool and autumnal mood. “

I do not bother you?

Nothing diminishes the personal human importance more than
this phrase. She literally shouts to her opponent: “I’m unsure of myself
man, I’m afraid to once again turn to you, do not hurt me. ”

Пример: босс вызвал вас к себе в офис,
to discuss a trip to another city. You, побаиваясь личного
conversation, timidly knock on the door and ask: “I’m not
prevented?

With this phrase you pre-tune the boss against yourself.
Perhaps he will think a hundred more times before giving you again
opportunity to go to business trip.

BUTльтернатива: как и в предыдущих примерах,
One advice – specify your desires, requests and questions.
Just ask, “Will I come in?” If the boss is busy, believe you
you will understand it even with the help of such a concise phrase.

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