Mon 02 Mar 2015
What do family and marriage mean for us? Love, consent,
understanding, significance for someone. Most people starting out
living together, that’s exactly how they imagine it in the future –
cloudless, full of the feeling of a friendly strong shoulder, because
spouses are no longer just lovers, they are also friends who
share and good, and bad, give advice and empathize. But not
always and not every family manages to maintain mutual understanding and
empathy that is inherent in the first years of dating. On the contrary, over
time, the family ceases to be a cozy hearth, reliable
stronghold, and the half that you idolized yesterday, it seems
far and indifferent. Why even being married can we
feel lonely?
Exists
several reasons causing a decline in family communication
couple, which ultimately leads to a feeling of loneliness, lack of demand,
unrealized in marriage. As a rule, in women it begins with
shifting priorities in favor of children, obsession with their
hobbies, problems, against which the interest and attention to the second
half a little extinct. For men, there are stereotypes
imposed in the parental family: the boy must be strong, he
never cries, does not complain, does not ask for sympathy. Inability
speak and inability to hear another person, while expecting that
he himself must unravel your thoughts, widens the invisible abyss.
Egoism is becoming increasingly apparent, and each in a pair believes that
he must be understood, not intending to make concessions first and begin
dialogue. Another significant reason why in a family
lost communication, is erasing the image that
represented a close person in the period of love after
dating After all, after some time in marriage, we
completely different beginning to perceive our rug and
respond to all her faults that used to be cute
eccentricities.
Everything
This contributes to the growing sense of isolation in the family.
Lack of understanding, reticence and unspokenness
thoughts, anxieties, resentments accumulate like a snowball. Eventually
once such a loving couple may just start to coexist
based on the banal mutual benefits in life, or even break up. What
need to do how to return to the relationship of spouses emotional
warmth and intimacy? Often, most couples do not seek
to such discord and distancing from each other. No wonder they say that
any relationship, even the most passionate, is a fire whose flame
need to maintain. Spouses dismiss each other, masking
carelessness and lack of interest in problems, concerns,
other person’s hobbies with their fatigue and hassle. AND
recognize that the main reason for being alone in marriage is not
This, and in indifference and indifference, is very hard. However, accepting
this, realizing not only the guilt of the partner, but also his own, can save the family
and start over. Work on yourself, on your way
perceptions of each other, taking their role and responsibility as
highs and lows of relationships. Establishing a dialogue is not easy, but
It is important to take the first step, even if you are afraid that you will not understand
brush off, shutting off indifference and closing the newspaper.
Tell about your feelings, how you do not have enough heat,
understanding, support in any, even the smallest issues. But at
This is sure to ask your loved one about his
worries, anxieties. It is important to do it from the heart, without
artificiality. Remember, because you probably had common
interests, hobbies that you shared. Try them
to realize, no matter how irrelevant they seemed. Do not be afraid
show tenderness, affection – sincere care will always be accepted with
gratefully and appreciated properly, even if at first it is not
manifest externally.
