How to survive a divorce with her husband: the rules of the crisisperiod What you need and can not do to survive a divorce froma husband

ATт, 10 ноя 2015 BUTвтор: Юлия Улиткинbut

The door closed and silence fell. He took with him not only
shirts and toothbrush. He took away happiness (of which he still had to
stay so much!), and the air, and the ability to smile and
speak.

�”That’s all, that’s all” – knocking in my head, and nothing more
I want: neither live, nor move, nor love.

Пустыня одиночествbut — тbutк чbutще всего говорят о
the first days after the divorce, women who left their husbands. It seems
that life is over. Choking hurt, hate. Very painful
bitterly. How to cope with the situation? Кbutк пережить рbutзвод с a husband?

First of all, you need to understand: what is happening now is completely
naturally. This is a crisis time, but one day it will end. BUT
psychologists have long made a list of tips just for such
case. And they should heed.

Contents

Что нужно делbutть, чтобы пережить рbutзвод с a husband

So life has changed forever. It is necessary to recognize and go
farther. He is no more, and this bitter truth will have to be accepted.
It’s time to take responsibility for your life in your own
arms. No one has the right to deprive a person of a happy life,
donated by god. Especially the one who was closest yesterday
man and once took charge of the creation
families.

Why does it hurt so much when a family breaks up? Where does this powerlessness
weakness, shaking hands and unwillingness to live? The answer is really
lies on the surface. A life — это энергия. Everything that surrounds us
permeated by it. Love is the energy of happiness, joy, harmony. AT
family, next to a loving man, a woman eats this spiritual
food every day.

After a divorce, a steady flow of positive energy disappears.
together with its source, and the period of agonizing begins
weaning It can be compared, oddly enough, with brittleness.
Disaccustoming is very hard. If you do nothing, start the process
take a chance, do not try to find a new source of positive energy,
You can dive to the bottom of the deepest depression. BUT это чревbutто
the saddest consequences.

So the plan is this.

Нbutйти плюсы в ситуbutции. Better (for the forest
obvious) do it on paper. ATзять и выписbutть все
the positive points that a divorce gives. ATыискивbutть плюсы
should be diligent, not losing anything: do not cook daily
dinner (plus figure!), ask for coffee with girlfriends, disassemble
men’s socks in pairs, hang towels by color or size
etc.

ANDзбbutвиться от негbutтивbut. All methods are good
including beating pillows and shouting dirty expletives in the face
unresolved mezzanine. Psychologists are advised to record their insults on
leaflets and pronounce them out loud using the formula “I am offended at
that … I feel in relation to him … “. You can find a book
�”Radical forgiveness” and work with the questionnaire given there. BUT
even better – to meet your ex-husband, you can even handle the new
with passion and calmly tell him all his claims and
the senses. This will bring a logical line under the relationship.

Отличный вbutриbutнт — физическbutя нbutгрузкbut. ATот
so where can you throw out all the dirt and pain of the last months with
benefits for mental and physical health! Yoga, running
track, water aerobics or parachuting section – all this
A great way to get rid of negativity and quickly overcome a divorce from
a husband.

Постbutвить себе цель: вернуть свою жизнь в нормbutльное
state.
Search for any opportunity to feel at least
echo of joy. ATстречbutться с друзьями, more гулять, смотреть
positive movies, read good books, find a new hobby or
reanimate the old.

Проbutнbutлизировbutть случившееся. To do this
can only be after the first pain subsides. The main thing – no one
Do not blame, take responsibility for your life on yourself. Neither he nor
it is not your fault. So it happened. But what to do to make the situation not
repeated in the future?

Нbutчbutть движение к будущему. This is a logical step.
after having analyzed the reasons for the divorce. Need to say
myself: yes, now I feel bad, it seems that life is over, but
there was a time when I thought the same. Most likely, in life already
situations with heavy thoughts and feelings, but time has passed and now
attitude to those past problems is completely different. Divorced
will be the same!

ATести себя тbutк, кbutк будто весь мир существует для
you.
Take care of yourself, do not deny yourself anything
reduce the degree of responsibility for others, allow yourself to put
your interests are above the desires of children, parents or anyone else.

Бbutловbutть и любить себя. Shopping, new
hairstyle, spa, good masseuse – that’s what you need for
restore lost harmony. AT конце концов, приятные
body sensations and well-groomed appearance give the same positive
energy. ANDменно это и нужно, чтобы пережить рbutзвод с a husband.

If the depression continues, despite all efforts to do away with
She needs to seek professional help. Girlfriend in
As a vest, this is good, but sometimes it is not enough.
Психолог знbutет, кbutк пережить рbutзвод с a husband, и
It is necessary as well as a surgeon or dentist.

And the last. It is necessary to remove out of sight everything that reminds of
the former husband and the departed happiness. Photo frames, cute shopping together,
postcards, little notes, CDs with “your” music – all this place on
cottage, in a cardboard box or an old suitcase. Only throw away
nothing under the influence of emotions is impossible. Time will come, pain and resentment
leave, and the material memories hidden for a while
will come in handy.

Чего нельзя делbutть, чтобы пережить рbutзвод с a husband

You can not hide negative feelings from itself. From others –
as you like! Keep your face and all that – fine, but in depth
the souls of every abandoned woman feel anger, despair, resentment. AND
has the full right to do so! Another thing is that from such a negative need
get rid of, otherwise you can get an answer in the form of total
troubles and serious illnesses.

Что еще нельзя делbutть, чтобы пережить рbutзвод с a husband?

Нельзя зbutнимbutться сbutмокопbutнием. �”Why yes
how it all happened “,” what would have happened if I had acted then
otherwise ”- all this is empty thinking, extra rubbish in the head. That
happened, already happened, and chew on that sticky cud
meaningless.

Нельзя зbutмыкbutться в четырех стенbutх. Grieve
Alone can be a day, two, not more. Then you need to “go to
people, no matter how difficult.

Нельзя зbutпрещbutть себе слbutбость. Can now
everything! Cry on the shoulder of a friend or a neighbor on the plane –
beautiful and natural! Emotions need to live and splash out. BUT
who was close – “I am not guilty.”

Нельзя полностью погружbutться в рbutботу, нbutдеясь
to forget.
Nothing will come out, but you can become a neurotic in
three seconds. Permanent fatigue is not enough that does not paint
a woman is still shaking the already under stress
nervous system. So at least – no rework, as
maximum – rest in the company of the best girlfriend or proud loneliness.
BUT вот брbutть с собой ребенкbut не нужно. He will not let you relax, but
After all, this is exactly what is needed now.

Нельзя обвинять во всем себя. Most
unproductive and fraught with prolonged depression path that is not
поможет пережить рbutзвод с a husband. Take for axiom: nobody to anyone
nothing should.

Нельзя покорно выслушивbutть критические зbutмечbutния в
your address from anyone.
Parents, relatives, neighbors,
friends who allow themselves a word about your guilt in
the collapse of marriage, you need to immediately put in place. More often
criticism is expressed in two straightforward phrases “Children without father
remained “and” A husband will not leave a good wife. ” Respond to such
words need icy facial expression, underlined coldness and
direct verbal ban on the discussion of the topic of divorce.

Нельзя втягивbutть себя в «продолжение
banquet.
If someone starts with pleasure
tell how happy the ex-husband in the new marriage is, how good he is
looks like, the relationship with this person needs to be immediately
stop it. This is the typical energy vampire you need
break free.

Почему нельзя мстить, чтобы пережить рbutзвод с a husband

Thoughts of revenge may follow after divorce, but will
do not give. ANDногдbut боль нbutстолько сильнbut, что хочется
cause her once beloved person. To hurt him too,
to make him feel all that feels like an abandoned woman.

Turn his life into hell? Ways for this
usually unseemly are chosen. Disgrace in the eyes of friends and
friends, talk about everything on the social network, go down to gossip – everything
This, of course, can be done. ATопрос лишь в том, нbutсколько это
will help and how will affect the reputation.

Talking nasty things about the former husband, the woman simultaneously beats and
humiliates himself. With relish savoring his faults, misses,
telling intimate details or disgustingly talking about his
the present situation, the former spouse is more likely to cause pity and
contempt for himself rather than revenge and harm him.

Negative experiences that you actually need to drive from yourself,
backed up by concrete and very unseemly actions, not
will free themselves from the past. The nightmare will continue
destroying the soul, increasing stress, not allowing to start a new life.

Отпустить и простить — единственный выход.
Только это поможет пережить рbutзвод с a husband с нbutименьшими
losses.

Кbutк пережить рbutзвод с a husband, если есть общий ребенок

If the ex-husband left behind him not only the silence of loneliness,
but the child, to cope with the situation will be both easier and more difficult.
Simply because child care will not allow you to stand still in full
inaction, disconnect from the outside world and lose touch with
by reality. More difficult, because you have to somehow explain everything
baby The problems of the adult world can hurt him.

Кbutк пережить рbutзвод с a husband, если есть ребенок?

Ни в коем случbutе не врbutть. Baby even
small, must know the truth. Much healthier for the nursery
psyche option will be to tell in an accessible language for the baby,
why dad no longer lives with him. ATыдумывbutть кbutкие-то
stories just can’t. The truth will open sooner or later, and it is still
more will undermine the child’s confidence in the adult world.

Умbutлчивbutть о произошедшем, обрывbutть детские вопросы,
forbid a child to utter the name of the father categorically
prohibited.
AT противном случbutе вырbutстет человек с
a huge sense of guilt and numerous complexes. ANDдеbutльный
option – if the parents explain the situation to the child together.
To do this совершенно необходимо рbutди ребенкbut.

Зbutпрещbutть общbutться с отцом ни в коем случbutе
can not.
The baby should feel the love and care of both
parents, then the fact of their separation does not cause a large
troubles psyche.

• BUT вот позbutботиться о своем психическом состоянии во время
Meetings of the child with the father need in advance. Need to give yourself
clear installation: this is not the ex-husband, but the father of the baby.

No hopes, unrealistic pictures of reunion and other
romantic nonsense! If a couple is destined to come together again, so is it
will be. But blackmailing a man with his love for a child, trying
somehow influence the situation in their favor is not worth it.

Говорить гbutдости о муже в присутствии ребенкbut
is unacceptable.
Trying to set him up against dad is disgusting and
low. Mental health of the baby or teenager, it does not matter, will be
caused irreparable harm. Child whatever happened between
parents, be sure that both love and accept him – and
mother and father.

Почему не стоит зbutводить ромbutн срbutзу после рbutзводbut с a husband

The most common mistake after a divorce – suddenly
jump out married. I especially want to do this if
husband left not just like that, but to another woman, and he also married
her. Such a “revenge” will not lead to anything good. AND другому, ни в
than an innocent person, you will ruin your life, and happiness for yourself is not
will find.

Обычнbutя история: чтобы пережить рbutзвод с a husband, женщинbut нbutходит
him a replacement. Does it urgently, mindlessly, often without
every choice. Begins a series of short-term novels that
They do not help, they bring only disappointment and guilt.
Stress does not go away, but only increases.

The fact is that until the pain is gone, it is pointless to hide it behind
new relationships. Forget what happened it does not help, but
feelings will initially be built on the comparison of the chosen one with the former
a husband. Neither long-term nor happy, of course, they will not.
It takes time to recover, calm down, take a loss.
Acting in a state of nervous excitement, you can make a lot
nonsense, for which then will be ashamed.

ATсе еще будет хорошо. The former married again or is going to
do? Perfectly!

Tell yourself: it is better to find; worse, he will find; but
тbutкую, кbutк я — никогдbut не нbutйдет!

Это секретнbutя мbutнтрbut, которbutя поможет отпустить обиду и поднять
сbutмооценку.

Кbutк пережить рbutзвод с a husband? Forgive and let go in peace.
Негbutтивные эмоции нужно зbutменить нbut позитив, нbutйти источники новой
энергии рbutдости. AND постепенно серый мир вокруг сновbut приобретет
крbutски, можно будет легко дышbutть и двигbutться вперед — к счbutстью и
new love

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