Пн, 18 апр 2016 Автор: Юлия Улиткина
Cry not cry, but if in response to the words “I love you!” Sounds
politely indifferent “Thank you”, the relationship does not count
worth it.
Unrequited love can cause a lot of trouble, so from her
need to get rid of as quickly as possible.
Contents
How to get rid of unrequited love: start with a reason
You need to start with the unpleasant: find the cause. You can convince for a long time
that your feeling is a gift from above, you were destined to be friends
to a friend and if it were not for the other, then everything would be different … Mishina
completely unnecessary excuses and conditions behind which hides
the sad truth: the problem is not in him or in his environment, but in
you.
This is what is most often hidden behind unrequited love.
• Неуверенность в себе, обесценивание своей
personality, low self-esteem. Actually subconsciously girl
does not consider herself a worthy chosen one and a priori agrees that
his present companion (or wife) is better in all respects:
more beautiful, smarter, more interesting, brighter. Unable to love yourself, sufferer
ready to justify neglect. The dislike of the chosen one
inaccessibility confirms the subconscious attitude to yourself as to
the worthlessness that deserves it.
• Позиция жертвы. The sad truth is that
sacrificing your life for mythical love is a crime to
relation to yourself. No man is worth it.
to make up tales about high feelings for yourself and worship your
idol from afar. It is very convenient, of course, to be the victim, from which
nothing depends, and sweetly suffer from unhappy love, not
trying to get rid of unrequited love and the article of his own
of fate. But for others, such a position will not cause pity, but
contempt and bewilderment. Want to continue to feel sorry for yourself?
• Потребность в сильных чувствах как энергетической
подпитке. Yes, you can receive energy not only from
positive. Negative – a much faster way to get
the strongest emotional experience. Only if for receipt
positive energy you need to apply some force, the negative is not
requires no physical energy consumption. Think maybe
suffering sobbing and committing madness you charge from
�”Negative battery”?
• Человеческое одиночество. It often happens that
the object of love becomes the first person
a classmate or co-worker who could theoretically
become a partner. Frequent stay together, a drop of pure
human interest on his part can cause lonely
girls unfounded hopes. The rest will finish the rich female
imagination and lack of a real partner. Do not have time to look back
– and now you are completely and hopelessly in love.
• Родительский авторитет и искаженная модель
семьи. Children love children, of course, so if a girl
got indifferent, not paying attention to her father, she can
devote his whole life to finding a partner like him. Unplayed
until the end of the situation can cripple life, repeating again and again.
To exit the vicious circle of a recurring scenario and
get rid of unrequited love, good help is required
gestalt therapist.
How to get rid of unrequited love: simple tips
The painful feeling of hopelessness from the unrequited
love turns life into a series of meaningless, dreary days.
Two options are possible:
• the girl was close to her lover, and he fell out of love with her;
• the subject of suffering does not suspect anything.
The worst thing in the first situation is hope and meaningless
Attempts to “fix everything and return feelings”. It may be insane
phone calls (often flavored with alcohol), intrusive
attention, an attempt to put pressure on your ex-husband or partner,
blackmail him. Tantrums can not fix anything, so
the first thing to literally strangle to get rid of
from unrequited love – hope. She dies very hard, so
will have to gather in a fist all the will that can only be found in
wounded soul.
Never before has blackmail and tears caused anything but love – simple
sympathy in men. Yes, he may be sorry for you, but no longer
a few days. Pity will quickly turn into hostility and
irritation. Therefore, we must begin by accepting the loss of love.
as an accomplished act. Nothing can be done about it, and it’s not
that you are ugly, not smart enough, do not have the right
shape parameters. He just doesn’t love you anymore.
To get rid of unrequited love, you need to dramatically and resolutely
sever all relationships so that there is no reason to hope for
return relationship. Delete all contacts, throw away all things,
reminiscent of the past, refuse to meet with friends like
no matter how hard. Although close friends who were familiar with
him can help. They can and should be asked for help, support.
Who, if not relatives and friends, will help to survive the first explosion of grief,
wipe away the tears, regret and not give to plunge into depression?
Помните: ваша проблема никакая не
special The situation is familiar millions of people. Moreover, rarely in
Nowadays there is a person who has not survived the wreck of love
hopes. No matter how cynical it sounds, men in the world
really a lot: one has disappeared – the other will not slow down
to appear.
И еще один момент. Need to realize that your
love is a strong psychological dependence, akin to
alcoholic or narcotic. It takes time to force
the body forget about the usual dose of positive energy that you
have given a relationship. It will be very difficult, but you can survive breaking. Everything,
what you see is good in the past, as you recall,
tears – this is idealization. It is necessary to save the veil invented
merits, and the former will appear as a completely mediocre man,
which is easy to find a replacement.
You can try to break the link symbolically. For example,
write about your experiences on paper. Pour all the bitterness, anger,
pain and then destroy them in a cleansing fire. Well or break on
the pieces and the wind dispel. It helps to cope very well
emotionally radical forgiveness method Colin Tipping outlined in
eponymous book.
What to do and how to get rid of unrequited love, if
chosen one does not suspect anything? Again, two options:
confess or try to get rid of obsessive feelings. If a
he is married or not free, hardly need to burden his lover
by their sufferings. That’s what psychologists advise.
• Find negatives in the elect (ridiculous, unworthy)
traits Sometimes there is enough trivia to make romantic nonsense.
vanished without a trace. For example, можно первой написать ему в
social network. Starting to communicate, you can surprisingly detect the giant
cultural gap between you or learn about negative features
a person whom you, in general, do not know.
• Switch the degree of attention from thinking about unhappy love
on something else, that is, maximally occupy yourself somehow
interesting case. Only really interesting and demanding
emotional, time consuming. Very good if
additionally, a hobby will have a positive effect on appearance and
figure. Than to waste time and nerves on an indifferent stranger, better
spend it on yourself, improve your appearance, shape, raise
самооценку, и заодно избавиться от неразделенной love
• To find advantages in this situation. Believe me, they are! Thats
same hobby, which was already discussed. Or the brightness of experiences, which
you are experiencing. Believe me, love is a precious gift from
point of view of emotions. Many middle-aged people dream to experience again
strong feelings Or another moment: love makes us work
above yourself: change your appearance, lifestyle, it becomes better to
like a chosen one. Lose weight finally! If a не зацикливаться на
negative, this development is a definite plus.
• Fill life with new people. Communication is a luxury gift, from
which you can not refuse. There are so many people around
I wonder the same as you. Moreover, the Internet gives a truly
unlimited communication opportunities.
• To learn (to force yourself, in the end) to think positively.
Come up with life-affirming affirmations and repeat them in the morning,
after waking, day and evening. Work on yourself. Other
there is simply no way out.
How to get rid of unrequited love: why hope
meaningless
There is nothing more destructive than hoping for a return.
former love or the occurrence of a sudden interest from
the subject of his adoration. If a он не обращает на вас внимания,
it means you are not interested in him. Of course, you can try to open
your feelings, but only if you are aware of
consequences and are precisely confident in the decency of the man.
Often girls are not able to break strong emotional
attachment, begin to live hopes for the future. it
destructive since nonviable relationships take
a place where a new or real feeling might arise.
Invented or unrequited love is idealization, for
which is not visible to a real person. To get rid of the unrequited
love, you need to accept yourself the way you are and love.
Remember that you have nothing more valuable, loved and dear,
than you yourself.
